I'm Chutney ;)

Firstly, I did not intend for us to in fact be named Cocktale and Chutney, but ironically, the names do fit. So I guess moving forward this is what we will call ourselves. Unfortunately for Cocktale, he may have received the short end of the stick on this one….not literally of course, not that I would know.

Likely I should start in the same place as Cocktale. I am now 29 years old, I am divorced and enjoying my life for what it has become today. I was married to a gay man. He is technically not out of the closet just yet. He is a Muslim man with strong conflicting traditional values, like so many second generation Canadians. Frankly, it’s only a matter of time when he comes to the resolution his morning 3 hour routine and affinity for men is a lifestyle and not a choice. We were together for a total of 4 somewhat miserable years. We had sex only a handful of times, so this may explain my fixation with this particular activity now. I love sex. I crave it, and I need it on a regular basis to make me feel alive and desirable. Is this behaviors healthy, likely not, but for this period in my life, I have accepted it as an enjoyable extracurricular activity.

My life really began after my separation from my husband, but I met Cocktale almost a year earlier. Cocktale’s memory may be fading, but I remember the day quite vividly. I was in sales at the time for a small online agency looking for new clients. Every networking event at the time was like a hunt. I was checking out the crowd for potential opportunities and saw that Cocktale was in fact a competing company to my business. I introduced myself to see if perhaps we could work together on future projects and this was the beginning of our relationship.

At that particular time in my life, I was confident and secure. Talking to anyone and everyone was not a problem at all. So our communication progressed quite easily. We went out for dinner and I thoroughly enjoyed his stories. He is truly a wonderful story teller which is where the ‘tales’ part of his online name fits. Our first dinner was uneventful, aside from the great company and great food. The second time we went out for dinner I remember being devastated. My ex husband had sent me an email a few weeks earlier asking for a divorce. This was really the beginning of our journey together.

Hopefully, you can read our stories, be entertained as some of what has happened to us over the last few years is pretty surreal. Most importantly, we hope we can start a dialogue for us all who have a lust for life and affinity for getting into trouble.

Chutney

I'm Cocktale

My name, Cocktale, is made up. Truth be told, Chutney made it up. I blame her. Damn.

Let me start by telling you a bit about myself. I'm 50 years old (unfuckingbelievable especially when I feel 38). I live in Canada but I was born in Africa to ex-patriate parents. I'm divorced. That happend a couple years ago but I was separated for a couple years before that. And before that I slept in the basement for 2 years - that was like living in shit. Going through a divorce is nasty. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But being divorced is okay - just fine by me actually. Better than being married to ..... well I'll refrain from being nasty; maybe later.

I live with my sons - 2 teenagers. Actually, they live with me or that is how it is supposed to be but teenage boys seem to have a habit of doing their own thing which ends up having an impact on me and my life. But I digress, they are a story on their own and I'll tell a tale or two about them at another time, not now.

Chutney can tell her own story. So I'll start by telling you how we met. Strangely, I can't remember when we first met, she says it was at some business event of which I have no recollection - I must have been drunk except that I never get that drunk. I do remember our second meeting. It was in a coffee shop after she emailed me asking if I wanted to meet for coffee. What? Are you nuts? Of course, I'll have coffee. Who are you again? Oh yeah you're female - good enough for me. I'm game to meet any woman for coffee.

This was about 5 years ago. Our meeting was like any other work related meeting. We talked about clients, projects and work issues. She was married. I was married. I often met (meet) female coworkers for coffee - I consider this one of the joys of working. To be honest, that is all I ever did while I was married - meet for coffee. I'm not a person that plays the field - I'm loyal. Scewed up a bit but loyal.

So we have coffee a few times. Then we worked on a project together and that was it. We were associates, co-workers, colleagues but not friends - all we talked about was work. Until... Chuney sent me another email asking if we could get together. By that time I was separated and I needed any type of companionship that was being offered. Being a sensitive guy, I suggested going for coffee. Chuntney replies saying that she loves nice meals at restaurants - how about dinner?

Let me ask you, what would you do? As I mentioned, I might be a bit screwed up but I'm not stupid - I know a good thing when it is forced upon me. Chutney is a goddess. She reminds me of Lisa Ray. So we went for dinner. Remember she's married. Well not for long. By the time of our next dinner, Chutney tells me that she's separated.

And that is how our friendship started - talking about relationships, separation, divorce, pain, sorrow, hopes dashed, dating, longings and by the way, what should we have on tonight's menu?

Our friendship is strange - we've talked about everything and we've been to many restaurants for dinner. We've even travelled together but we are just friends and that is the beauty of what we want to share with others.

Welcome to our blog, our stories, our frustrations with dating and relationships and our unexplainable friendship. Enjoy.

Cocktale