I loved hearing about your trip to India. I am envious (although not about the crying part). Oh to have gone with you but alas I am still stuck in the city. Sorry to hear you are having an extended ride on the emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I have to force myself to remember that tears are often from heaven and they help to shower your soul clean from all the dirt of life. I am giving you a long distance virtual hug.
Speaking of hugs. I have to tell you about one that I had recently that scored a 10 on my hugness scale. I was in Vancouver recently for a conference. I have a friend who has lived there for years. I got to know Gladiola after high school when I left home and went to a religious college in another city. She was thin and had the most beautiful long black hair. For years after, during the Christmas holidays she would make the best eggnog ever. We never dated. I don't really know why but we have always been good friends.
A few years back she called me on a Friday afternoon. At the time I was in my bachelor apartment basking in the sunlight that streamed into the room. This was a few months after separating from Spandex. I spent many hours alone those days so to get a call from someone, anyone, was a treat. But this call was disturbing. Gladiola called in distress to say she was trying to make a decision about whether or not to go into rehab for a drinking problem. I knew she had a problem but we had never discussed it before. She called to say that she was scared and didn't know what to do. She said things were so bad that she would get sick when she stopped drinking. She would vomit and the only way to stop was to start drinking again.
I listened and I hurt for her. When she asked me what I thought she should do I didn't really know what to say. I usually avoid giving advice to friends but I will if they ask and I feel that they really want an answer - not everyone who asks actually wants advice. I suggested that she should do what is best for herself and her family - she has a husband and a son.
I didn't her from her for a few months. Every once in a while I would call her or email her. She did go for treatment and is now doing much better.
Before my trip to Vancouver I sent her a note asking if she would have time to meet. She replied with enthusiasm and told me to set aside the whole afternoon before the conference. We arranged to meet at my hotel about 3:00. She called me when she got there and I met her in the lobby. She hug me so tight and so long that I thought she would never let go. It felt wonderful to be loved and appreciated.
We spent the next 7 hours wandering around Granville Island looking at all the shops. I had never been to Granville Island so this was a real treat for me. One store was full of sculpture from Africa - I was fascinated. We had a late lunch, drank tea, and had a beer. I asked her before we ordered if she was okay drinking alcohol and she reassured me that she was fine and she was. Between beverages we walked around and around sometimes crossing paths that we had been on before. We didn't care. We took pictures of each other standing in front of the harbor with all the boats. Absolutely spectacular. At 7 or so we went to this fancy restaurant called Bridges. I honestly can't remember what we ate but it was delicious. And we drank Malbec wine from Argentina (I wonder where I learned that from). Gladiola had one glass and I drank the rest. She was planning on driving later. We talked and shared stories about our lives. I told her about being married and why I left. I told her about my sons and raising them on my own. She told me about the good times and the bad times in her life. She told me about her family and her siblings and her parents. Some of the stories I knew already but some were new. I reveled in her openness and honesty. I love to feel share about my life and I treasure the trust that others show me when they tell me about themselves. At 10 pm she dropped me off at my hotel. We hugged again for a long time.
A few days later after the conference was finished, I sent her an email thanking her for a wonderful evening. Her reply was that the evening was "magical". Wow, what a compliment!
On another note, Cartwheels has tumbled off the map. I did go on a walk with her and her dog. We had fun. I enjoyed her company. But she's missing a tooth and she wore a white jacket that was filthy and her dog had poo hanging off his rear end. Now her work phone has an extended absence message. I think she is ill but I have no way of connecting with her. Maybe I'll leave another card at her mother's house. This is all very strange.
Pickles, however, is still hanging in there. I'm surprised and grateful. I tried to break up with her after our trip to New York. She understood me completely but basically ignored my request and kept in touch by sending me jokes via email. Then she asked me to go as her date to her niece's wedding. I went and had fun. Later we had lots of fun. Of course, that was after a 22 years old female guest (from the groom's side) mauled her very affectionately outside just as we were leaving. It seems that this gal took a special liking to Pickles after the pole dancing routine at the stagette the week before. Nothing better than 2 gals making out - one MILF and one hotty. I just stood back and watched in amazement while my own pole stood to attention.
Since then we have had lots of fun both in and out of bed. Last night we went to the haunted houses. I'm still puzzled. In six months I have had more fun with her in bed than I had in 20 years of marriage. Yet I can't fall in love. Strange. I'm beginning to think I'm the odd one. Although, I have to add that after 20 years of trying to please an unpleaseable women I finally got a compliment worthy of repeating. After one late evening both Pickles and I rolled on our backs exhausted and Pickles said, "I have never had sex where the guy focused on giving me so much pleasure." How about that? Made my day!
Moving on.... Spindle (her significant was sick), Pickles and my friends, Jay and Gee, from Brazil dropped by on Friday. We carved faces in pumpkins and lit candles inside - spooky and fun. We ate BBQed pork tenderloin and chewed pumpkin seeds roasted in oil and garlic. Spindle brought Gee a surprise birthday cake with exquisite butterflies made from icing sugar. It was stunning. Jay and Gee told stories about their previous marriages (5 in total including to each other). I started the ball rolling by asking them what they did to resolve disagreements. Their conclusion was to keep talking until both people come to a comfortable acceptance. They explained that both people have to change their perceptions and attitudes. Both have to compromise and both will end up as winners. Very perceptive and very wise.
Lastly, my friend Sandy has moved in with me for a few weeks. She is a wonderful singer and exceptional guitarist. She is having a few difficulties with her female partner after kicking her partner's 15 year old son out of the house. Not too wise in my opinion. It is difficult enough parenting your own children but giving a swift kick to someone else's child is bound to stir up the hornets nest can result in a few stings.
Glad to hear you are coming to town soon.
All for now. Love ya.
Cocktale
