Hey Cocktail,
First and foremost, I owe you an apology for dropping off the face of this earth. The last few weeks have been really difficult. Not for any reason aside from its cold outside and I’m tired of this weather. Or perhaps, I’m just tired of being out here without my family. Maybe it’s because I’m getting tired of the mundane routine of work and sleep I have been confined to lately. I’m looking forward to the sun, I’m looking forward to a vacation or something magical to happen.
Fantasies aside, your last post moved me quite deeply although it did also leave me feeling a little more confused. I have seen many different depictions of love over time and the question of classification never gets easier. I was watching a movie recently called Brick Lane and it illustrates your concept of instant love vs earned love very well. The protagonist is an innocent girl from a Bengali village and she is sent to London to marry a middle aged man she is not very fond of. The story centers around the fantasy she creates about the life she left behind and an idealistic vision on love until she is abruptly brought back to reality and finds her voice.
I have read the Namesake and have seen a beautiful production of the Overcoat by Gogol. An interesting message here for sure (at least my interpretation), perhaps the things we believe we need are the same ones that destroy us - just like the overcoat or for some of us instant love.
Sometimes I think my parents were fortunate. They never had to deal with the dating games and just settled into each other after an arranged marriage in their late teens. I suppose they are part of the fortunate few that learned to love and appreciate each other over time. They never had the opportunity to experiment with instant love, so it wasn’t something they sought after. They just accepted the fact that life was planned and they had a duty to fulfill to their parents.
That being said, if you have had the opportunity to experience instant love, perhaps we are really out there searching for a mirage of what love really is. One of my best friends, Amy, is dating at the moment. She is looking for that jaw dropping feeling that comes with instant love. She is looking for incomprehensible passion, unbelievable sex and of course the constant butterflies. Unfortunately, this approach hasn’t resulted in anything long-term for her even though she has been trying for quite some time. I'm hoping there are some cases of success out there, but I'm more inclined to believe that love is like anything else in life and you have to work for it. I'm holding out for earned love and hopefully I'm on the right path, although I still have my doubts on a regular basis.
Well enough about me…I want to know more about the text message you sent me the other day. It sounds like Cocktail has got his groove back. You going to have to fill me in and let me know what is going on with you!! I’m excited to hear about your latest adventures.
As always, lots of love,
Chutney :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
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